Moving In

Ok, so the boyfriend and I are thinking about taking that next step…moving in together. Honestly this has been a topic of conversation for friends and family for MONTHS. Literally, no joke. They’ve all assumed that this was inevitable and had us moving in together at probably 2 months or so into our relationship. At that I myself was putting on the brakes. Even if he would have asked me back then I probably would have told him no…not yet because I wasn’t ready. Not that I didn’t care about him at the time, I just wasn’t ready to make that commitment yet. We had barely made a commitment to each other for crying out loud. Getting off the topic a little but those outside influences of friends, family, and co-workers already either had us living together, married, or with a baby on the way…COME ON! Give me a little credit to put some real thought into where I wanted and how fast I wanted all of this to go! I’m not dumb all of the time! Just have lapses in judgment occasionally! But anyway…we’re kind of taking a mini-step that some people might giggle at a little but he’s moving in with me and my mom probably by the end of the week. It really just makes more sense then him living at his sister’s. He spends every night but 2 with me and pays rent to her for basically a storage area for his clothes. And there are some other circumstances that I’m not going to elaborate on but those who I’ve talked to already know why I hinted at this for him to both him and my mom. His rent is going to be cheaper and I’ll have him there every night…I can’t wait! There is just something about having that person you love laying beside you, holding you close and whispering I love you in your ear just as you fall asleep...just makes your heart feel full and complete. That last kiss goodnight and those first kisses in the morning are so precious…because in that moment you know you’re the first and last thing they’re thinking about in their day. Makes you feel like the luckiest person in the world…maybe I am. I have such a giving and sweet boyfriend, I couldn’t even begin to describe how selfless and considerate he is because words wouldn’t be enough. And it’s not just for me, he opens himself up to helping my family, my friends…and never asks for anything in return. I can’t wait for us to begin this next step in our journey together. If he can stand to live with me 24/7, then maybe he really is the “one”…only time will tell with that. Some may be wondering how we got to there…well, I had to ask him. I know…sounds like I was jumping the gun or something, but I wasn’t. Anyone who knows Rich knows you have to ask the questions if you want to know for sure. I assumed that when he found a place that I’d probably be coming with him, but I didn’t know 100% for sure. So Sunday night I said, I’m not pushing and don’t want you to feel obligated to say yes, but when you find some place to buy or rent, am I coming with you? He nearly laughed at me and said yes as if I was crazy to ask the question. It was comforting to know for sure and even more touching to know that it was never a question to him that I would be coming with him…it’s always a good feeling to be wanted and needed…in the truest senses of the words...maybe, after all, dreams do come true and this Cinderella will get her prince and her castle.

The Way We Were, The Way We Are, The Way We Hope To Be

You know, I've been thinking about things that have been happening in this past year and I can't help but think that, already though it's not quite half over, 2008 is shaping up to be one of the most happy years I've had. So many people have come in or come back into my life and I really couldn't be more excited and eager to see what happens next. Granted, I have also lost some friends and I'll miss how much they impacted my life despite their choices but really I have been fortunate enough to meet some great new people and get to know one that I have wanted to for a very long time.

I was lucky enough on the day after Valentine's Day to find that special guy that I get to call mine, Rich. I have been a devout HATER of Valentine's Day for many years, both Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve because they are the most couple-oriented holidays there are and for many years I have never had anyone to call mine on Valentine's Day. The night before myself, and two of my co-workers, Chrissy and Chris (both ladies) decided that we would be each other's fake "lesbian" dates for Valentine's Day because we were all of the same opinion of the holiday, highly over-rated Hallmark Holiday. We went out and enjoyed each other's company, none of us thinking that our situations were going to change. But the next night, I did my usual stop at Clearview and Emily came over to me and said there was someone that she and my mom had wanted me to meet for a long time. That he was a really nice guy, quiet, and had been treated pretty badly by his ex-wife. She had him come down and say hello to me, but I was surrounded by a few people who were drunk and adamant for my undivided attention, so we didn't have the opportunity for more than that because I bailed out of there so I could get some space from those who don't get it that you don't need to be in someones face to get their attention. I ended up coming back to the Clearview with Brittany and Desiree and he was still there. Apparently he spent a lot of time there but I had never noticed him. I was sitting over at a table with the girls when he came over to talk to me for awhile amid the dart game he was playing (when I met him he was addicted to darts!) and while it was like pulling teeth to get him to talk, I actually stepped out of my own comfort zone and made the efforts at conversation. It wasn't love at first sight, but it was definitely like at first sight. We made plans to meet the next night at Clearview where he met some of my friends and family and the rest is history. We're now going on nearly 3 months of being together and while I've had my moments of stress, he's been there and accepted me as me. Something not everyone gets! Everyone likes him and more importantly...I do! And after our recent rumor issue, I've come to really appreciate him being in my life. I'm really finding myself falling for him...REALLY falling. And honestly...I couldn't be more excited. I'm coming to the point where I really want to say that "L" word, but I'm afraid to since I've been burned before and just don't want to be the first one to say it. Guess we'll see how that works out.

Another exciting development is the relationship I'm getting to start with my older sister, Kristi. I have wanted to extend my interest in knowing her for a very long time. I have met her before, have spoken to her, we even went to school together, but we never really acknowledged that we were related in the complete sense of it. I know I was always proud to know that she was my sister. She was always a great student, such a nice person, and a great athlete throughout high school. But that's where our interaction ended. Now, thanks to the small step our younger sister took in adding her to her own life, I'm getting the opportunity to connect with her and each of us become a part of the other's life. This is something I have looked forward to for a long time but have always been hesitant to make the first step. Family is so important to me and she is a part of that. I'd also like to get to know her family too, I don't ever expect to be Aunt Jessica to Konnor or Justin, but I'd like them to know me, even if it's just as Mom's friend. It's still a little awkward for me at times and I'm a little nervous about the first time we actually sit face to face and talk. I'm afraid I won't be able to say anything! But I am so excited and happy that she's becoming a real sister and I hope someday that she will be in all senses of the word. No "halves" here!

Other people that keep dropping in or finding me on Blogger or MySpace have ended up being some real surprises! My pretty much oldest friend, Cathy, recently messaged me on my blog and I'm excited to reconnect with her again. We've known each other since pretty much the day she was born, June 12th, one year after me. We've been friends on and off since then and unfortunately been more off than on as we've gotten older. I'm really hoping now that we've "found" each other again, we can really catch up on life with each other. Also, the friend I talked about in a previous blog has me very happy about the future, this is a friend I have truly missed. Someone I had a definite connection with and really enjoyed spending time with. I am so very thankful that he made the first step in extending the olive branch in wanting to be REAL friends again. His is one that I have truly missed because of it's affect on me before we made the mistake that we did. I really look forward to getting back to the way we were and feel very lucky for a second chance...with more than one person involved in that situation.

Maybe the most exciting person I've gotten to meet this year is my new nephew, Brody Andrews Sellen. Maybe he and I don't have much to talk about yet, but I love him nonetheless and his addition to our family is a celebrated one. He's such a handsome little guy and we all love him so much. He just gets more and more personality everyday. He's getting to be quite the little chub too! Almost weighs half as much as his 2 year old sister already! He's absolutely adorable and just like his sister, Jaiden, before him, he lights up a room with his happy little smile and the few little giggles we get out of him. I can't wait to see him grow and learn new things like I have with Jaiden. They are definitely a pair of the most adored children ever born, that's for sure!

All in all, this has been a relatively good year...despite hospital visits, despite family member injuries, despite lying witches, despite all the bad, I have to say that the first part of 2008 is shaping up well and I can't wait to see where it goes from here. Any year that starts off with more good than bad is always promising.