Better Luck...This Time?

I have had a lot of confusion in my life thanks to the opposite sex. Mostly I have thrown myself blindly into any opportunity given, something that has brought me more pain and heartbreak than any real joy. Most of my naive experience has been met with being taken advantage of or being walked on, something I really bring on myself more than anything. Always one to give every bit of herself to just get some sort of appreciation in any form, some sort of acknowledgement. One who at times lost the word 'no' from her vocabulary. A lot of times I'd give more than I had just to make someone else happy.

I guess maybe that's why now, now when I've met this sweet person, that I'm having a harder time than I thought with accepting him at face value. After being kicked around for so long, you tend to grow a thick skin and start to not trust those that are just genuinely GOOD to you and he really is. He's everything (REALLY everything this time!) I've ever really looked for in someone I've wanted to date. Personality and interest wise. And right from the beginning everyone LIKED him, which didn't happen before with others I've dated. Hell, my mother was one of the people who wanted us to meet and she has NEVER liked anyone I've been interested in, well, I take that back, she liked them, just didn't want them with her daughter. He's the type of guy that I've always been attracted to, the "manly man" kind of guy. Mechanic, into the outdoorsy stuff like 4-wheeling and snowmobiling, addicted to John Deere, your typical garden variety Redneck. But he also has a very sweet and soft side that he constantly shows to me with affection, holding hands, kisses, and just holding me, sometimes a little TOO affectionate, but I'd rather have that than someone cold. He seems to like doing things for me, seems to be the genuine gentleman type. He's fixed my car, cleaned my car, always wants to pay for things, even getting me to try new things (taking me skiing this weekend!). So why am I still so leery? Why do I still find myself wondering why he's like this? Why he's so nice to me? I wonder all of the time what's in it for him? I just can't bring myself to think that maybe, just maybe there is something in me that makes someone want to be with me. I was told last night that he's never really been like he is with me, happy and affectionate, to use the exact words from a friend last night, that I put a "whoop de doo" on him. Hahaha! I wish I didn't feel so on edge about his intentions because he definitely strikes me as the type of person who is straight with you, doesn't pretend, someone genuine. I wish I hadn't made the mistakes that I've made before, then maybe I wouldn't be so suspicious of the people who make the real effort to be as they are to me. I hope that in this relationship I'm able to have all that I didn't get before, that I'm able to give that I couldn't before. That I get ALL that comes with it. I just really hope that I have found what I really have been looking for.