Happy Independence Day!

Well, I certainly have been a “slacker” when it comes to blog upkeep! But as I have always said, isn’t it better to be out living life instead of sitting here writing about it? I’ve always thought so…Not a whole lot that’s terribly exciting has happened anyway, which in it’s own sense can be a good thing!

Let’s see, where to begin once again? Rich and I have almost hit that 6 month mark (July 15th) and things really couldn’t be any better and I couldn’t really be happier than I am now. He’s really that person I thought I’d never find, thought I never deserved. He’s not “Prince Charming” or “Romeo” but I’ve always thought reality is so much better than fantasy and he’s proven that. I’ve finally given up on my reservations on “prying” to get to know him better and have really asked some questions and got some of the answers I wasn’t getting volunteered. I know everyone’s not an open book and Rich is one of those people, but fortunately I’m learning to open the book myself and turn the pages. He’s so special to me now and I’m constantly feeling awed and amazed that he’s in my life. I love him. It’s as plain and simple as that. There are no complications in this relationship as there has been with my previous…uhm…I’m trying to find a word that fits here. I don’t want to use mistakes, but…I guess that’s what they were. I don’t regret them, but they were bumps in the road, maybe a bit more than that…I’d have to say potholes the size of an SUV would be more appropriate! But that was then, this is now. Now is a whole new adventure, one that I’m finally finding myself able to not second guess or be suspicious about and that’s taken some time. I know he loves me too, he tells me every day and this time I know the words actually mean what they are. He’s the most patient and understanding person I’ve ever encountered, he puts up with me in all stages of my personality, the impatient, the frustrated, the sick, the grump…he takes it all and says that I’m not any of it. He’s sweet to say it but I know the truth – haha! The good the bad and the ugly…he loves me for it all. Who could ask for more than someone who just makes you happy by being there and that you do the same for? It’s taken me some time to get here, but I can’t wait to see where the journey takes us next. Everyone loves him and thinks he’s such a great guy…no hesitations or questioning this time! Finally someone who is easy to accept!

I’m continuing my singing as always…sang in what will probably be the only wedding this year, Louis and Alisha’s (congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. Neely!) on June 7th. It’s kind of nice to have a break from that this year actually. I’ve been in SO many weddings in one capacity or more over the last 4 or 5 years that I’m due a break! I’ve been singer, bridesmaid, bridesmaid and singer, maid of honor and singer…I think I’ve only gone to one wedding in the last few years that I’ve done nothing more than be a guest! Not that I don’t love it. I absolutely do. And it’s one of those bigger honors to be asked to sing at someone’s wedding, I have to admit. To have two people choose you to commemorate their commitment to each other in front of those most important to them, it means a lot to me. I’ve also started singing the National Anthem again, something I used to do pretty regularly when I was in High School. We started attending races at Tri-City Speedway in Franklin and I noticed they were just playing a cd or tape to do the anthem and I decided why not volunteer my services? Amazingly enough without any audition or example of my singing they accepted my offer and I’ve had the honor of singing for them twice this year, though they’ve asked more I wasn’t able to attend. It’s a great experience and I love doing it! I’ve always missed doing it and am grateful for the opportunity again! I’m a crowd lover…the bigger the better! Plus the bonus of getting to see the races for free – can’t beat that deal!

I turned (ugh) 28 a couple of weeks ago and commemorated it with a big weekend of camping and canoeing with my friends. Despite the downpour Saturday night and the drama, I couldn’t have asked for a better time. It really meant so much to me that so many people made the effort to come out and spend time with me for my birthday. And to have some that we rarely get to see make the trip over to Endeavor too, I am so grateful for their presence. Thanks to everyone who made this the best birthday I have ever had…Rich, April, Tyler, Emily, Danny, Jed, Heather, Barb, Britt, Brad, Steph, Dustin, Desi, Ryan, Bill, Nicole, Tim, Bob, Misty, Phill, Jess, Alisha, Louis, Andrea, and Codie too. It wouldn’t have been what it was without any of you. Thanks for letting me know that I count to you all too.

Other than all of that I’m still plugging away at old TPT…same old same old there and you know what? I’m okay with that. This company really is something, today Rhonda, the owner, announced to all of the fulltime employees that they would be adding an extra $20 to our pay to help with the economic difficulties everyone’s having with gas prices and other things. How many companies do that? It’s offered sort of as an attendance incentive but still, how hard is it to come to work when they’re giving you FREE money to get here? All it takes to get that extra money is not having an unexcused absence that week. It really helps prove that sometimes the businesses you think just see you as another number actually DO care. So thank you Rhonda! This will help me hugely as I have a 40 mile round trip journey to do every day!

I suppose though…that I’ve given you enough for now. I hope you all have a wonderful Fourth of July weekend – enjoy that extra day off, I know I will! Be safe and Happy Independence Day!

Off The Top Of My Head

Wow...I've been slacking again. But in retrospect, that's a good thing, right? Means I'm out living life instead of writing about it! Let's see...what's been going on?

Well, I tried to have one of "those" talks with Rich, but it definitely didn't go the way I wanted it to. I breached the subject of not knowing much about his past or more personal life and asked why he didn't talk about it. All I got was "I don't know." *Sigh* I then continued by saying that I'd like to know more about him, because after more than 2 months of seeing each other, I feel like I've opened up a lot in showing who I am and where I come from but still don't know much about him. This lead to him just putting his arm around me and again coming up with "I don't know why." I really don't think it should seem like pulling teeth to get to know someone who's supposed to care about you. I don't think it should be so hard to share who you are with someone you care about. Am I being pushy? Am I being selfish? I don't know. This isn't the only issue I have but the other seems...well, it really does seem like a superficial and selfish reason to be "upset" about. I'm not really angry about it. It's just that I am someone who makes an effort to make others feel good about themselves by telling them they look nice and while I don't REALLY need the validation, we all like to hear it sometimes. Not once since we've been dating have I heard a "you look nice tonight" or a variation of it. Not once. I feel childish even writing about it, but sometimes when your self-esteem isn't that great to begin with, you need that little something from especially your significant other, that your efforts to look good for them actually pay off. I get that he's a guy and they just don't really pay attention to stuff like that sometimes but I'm a girl that needs it every once in awhile. I can't bring something like that up because if I hear it from him after that it seems like he's just saying it because I did. Lose lose situation....oh well.

Let's see what else...OH for EVERYONE to know - don't go to Donovan and Bauer Auto Group in Titusville for anything! No service, no cars...they don't know what quality work is! Around six months ago I had a wheel bearing/hub replaced on my car. Granted these parts are crap on all Grand Ams and I've gone through so many on the 2 I have owned that its ridiculous, but six months was definitely a record! I had Rich replace both of them on the front of my car recently and he called to tell me during the process that when I had the one replaced at the dealership they failed to put in 2 of the 3 bolts that hold the wheel on the car. I asked if this was something that could have just fallen out accidentally and he said no, that that's a secure piece and that where they should have been was rusted proving that they had not been in the wheel for awhile. Huh? Interesting. I asked if this was something dangerous and he said absolutely, it only had one bolt/screw holding the whole wheel on the car and it could have easily snapped off. I was pissed! I could have been seriously hurt or even died! And what if I had had someone else in the car with me? What if I had Jaiden or Brody with me? I was so angry, I wanted to march into that service department and tell them exactly what kind of workers they had employed there but after talking to my mom she said I couldn't really complain because the service department manager had given her a lot of discounts over the years and I had to let this one go. Huh? Wonder if we'd have let it go had the wheel come off? So while I can't complain to them, I can let everyone I know what kind of operation they have going down there - shitty! Avoid Donovan and Bauer Auto Group - they don't know quality!

Had another disappointment last week...found out Black Widow will not be at Clearview on my birthday. :( I was so looking forward to that! I've seen them come and go on everyone's birthdays and couldn't wait for them to be there on mine! Especially now that Lana knows I can sing and would have most likely pulled me up there to sing again! Definitely puts a damper on my canoe and band plans! I'm going to suck it up though and have decided I want to go camping after canoeing now. And while some friends have offered their backyard...No thanks...that's not camping! I want us all in tents out in the middle of no where! It's been so long since I've really camped and am definitely up for it!

So much is going on in the next couple of months...just don't know how I'm going to afford to swing it all! This weekend is Alisha's bridal shower and I have yet to get her a gift. Next is Rich's birthday...and I have sworn NO John Deere! The boy is obsessed with it and anything I'd get he'd probably already have. I think I'm going to add some Old Navy to his wardrobe! Just stuff I think he'd actually wear, so T-shirts or Hoodies, don't worry honey - no polos yet! Next is Alisha and Louis' Stag n Drag - and that's $15 for both me and Rich to go. Never heard of paying for a bachelorette/bachelor party before but whatever I guess. I don't want to miss it so I'll have to pay. The weekend after that is Nicole's graduation party...which will probably just involve a card and some cash but there's still that. Following that is Alisha and Louis' wedding, involving yet another gift! I'm going to be broke by the middle of June if not sooner. Thankfully after that is my own birthday - so money will be appreciated! Hahaha! I think that's all I've got going right now, but of course it's always subject to change and additions!

I've been trying to change my life healthwise a lot lately, especially since being in the hospital. It's so damn hard though! I've been making myself excercise in some way every day before I go to work and so far it really hasn't been that hard pulling my butt off of the couch yet. I really like the dancercise DVD I have right now (think the same one as you, Jen!). Boy, when I started I was so uncoordinated! I actually put it away for almost a year because I just didn't think I had the rhythm for it but when I pulled it out this past week, I've found that it is there after all! I've also been walking a little and went out and bought a bike that I try to ride a couple times a week. Over did the first day with 2 miles...boy were my muscles sore and my legs wobbly! Had to remember I wasn't a kid anymore who could just hop on the bike and go! So I'm working up to going a little farther every day. Of couse none of this is going to help really until I completely change my diet. That's been my toughest challenge. Just can't bring myself to totally give up that good stuff that's so bad! I'm supposed to be on a 2000 calorie diet per my doctor due to my diabetes but I'm having such a hard time following it. Starting next week though, I'm getting that diabetic handbook out and trying to set myself up the right way. Wish me luck! I'd like to lose atleast a few pounds before we go on vacation to Topsail Island, NC the end of September so I don't feel quite so whale-like on the beach!

Guess that's it for now...till next time! Oh and hope you enjoy the music and all that I've added...it was just for you wonderful visitors - if there are any!

Unintentional Selfishness

Sometimes as we grow up and move through this journey called life, we all lose sight of what is important to us, sometimes we neglect special people and sometimes we take for granted their presence in our life. I am guilty of it, we all are. I wish it didn't happen but it does and we all have felt the chill of an unintentional cold shoulder.

I made the mistake of not making a greater effort to celebrate a great friend's birthday with her this past weekend and she felt hurt by it. Which she is totally justified in feeling. She didn't deserve those feelings and I am so sorry that she did feel that way. I want her to know that I didn't forget her or her special day and hope that I can make it up to her as her friendship does and always has meant a lot to me. She's been there through a lot of ups and downs, has been there for a lot of good and a lot of bad and I've been thankful for her presence in my life. I just hope she knows that I did remember her birthday and wish I could have spent some it with her. I'm sorry, Barb and love you!